• Pregnant woman: oh my god he's kicking!!
  • Me: *punches her in the stomach* you think it's fucking cool to hit girls you little bitch??

deathpup:

shrexything:

babyferaligator:

oomshi:

is masturbating while smoking weed called masturblazing 

no its called highjacking

guys no it’s weedwhacking

no its called dissapointing ur mother

I HATE THAT STUPID “IF U LOVE UR GIRLFRIEND DO MORE THAN JUST RUB HER CLIT”

LIKE WHAT IF MY GIRLFRIEND IS ANTISOCIAL AND THAT’S ALL SHE WANTS ME TO DO????? WHO AM I TO SAY NO.

REALTALK GIRLS ARE GENTLE CREATURES THAT BRUISE WITH EVEN THE LEAST AMOUNT OF PRESSURE

LOCK THE DOORS REINER SAW MY TEXT POST

when your girlfriend bruises like a peach so any time you have intercourse basically gives her a thousand more bruises and you look like an abusive boyfriend

our crazy neighbour in 321 just came knocking on the door at 10.30 pm

why the fuck is justin whatever knocking on my door at 10.30 pm

I DONT CARE ABOUT THE GUYS IN YOUR HOUSE

WITH GASOLINE

AND NO BODIES

jean makes fun of me because i say ‘fuck’ weird

apparently it comes out like fack

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